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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Wedding Wednesday: Our current relationship whilst 10, 000 miles apart

I got a really interesting email from a reader (Hi Sarah!) asking me what Jesse and my relationship was like currently as we're 10, 000 miles apart and waiting on the next big step. First of all, I LOVE getting emails like this - so if you have a question or something you want to hear - PLEASE! email me at southerninlaw@gmail.com

But nonetheless, Sarah's question got me thinking. Obviously our current situation isn't the ideal one, however, I feel truly blessed to have a fiancé who makes me feel so happy and loved despite being so far away. Our relationship is incredibly strong and we've grown a lot with each other over the years as we've faced challenges and learnt how to make long distance work for us.

I often get asked "what would you say to your daughter if she was going to get into a long distance relationship" and I think this is really important. I'd tell her to be careful, be patient and be strong. It takes the right couple to make a LDR work and a lot of strength and patience from both parties.
Really, we're big dorks
Anyone that tells you that a long distance relationship is easy is either lying or has some serious issues. It hurts, a lot. I have been known to sob over the telephone, tear up when talking about Jesse or get incredibly frustrated that I can't have what I want (heck I'm even tearing up writing this). But for us, it's worth it.

The hard times are forgotten every single time we're waiting at the airport and are together again. I would endure anything if it meant seeing Jesse at the end, honestly. Not every day is as hard as others, he still manages to make me smile and laugh and fall more in love with him with every IM, email or phone call. My family and friends know when I'm IMing Jesse because I have this silly little smirk on my face (it's been captured on camera because I didn't believe it) and I will drop any plans just to talk to him on the phone.

We talk quite a lot thanks to technology. Usually I wake up when he finishes work, we'll talk til he falls asleep (around lunch time) and then he wakes up after dinner here and we talk until he has to start work. On the weekends we have a lot more time to talk and I'm so grateful that even though we're in totally different time zones, they kind of match up.

I'm completely and utterly in love with Jesse and I couldn't find another person in the world who I could do this with, nor want to. It's tough, really tough - but so worth it. Jesse is my best friend and greatest supporter in life (along with my mum) and we've been through a LOT together. He's talked me through some of the toughest moments in life, made me believe everything was going to be okay when it felt like my world was falling apart, known just what to say at every moment and has been the one to cheer for my successes (even if I didn't see them as that).
Jesse has the best laugh - and I'm not the only one who thinks it
It's one of those laughs that you can't help but smile or laugh with

We have a relationship where nothing is off limits. Jesse probably knows way more than he wants to but we tell each other everything. We also know when to tell one another to shut the front door... If you know what I mean. I'm not afraid to tell Jesse he's being an idiot or overreacting and he is the same with me. When we're together, we do the same. In Louisiana, Jesse's family were slightly in awe of my ability to speak up and tell Jesse to get over himself. You see, usually I'm very polite and quite soft spoken, however, I also don't put up with ridiculousness. It was only simple things like Jesse getting frustrated at his disaster or the gps, but I guess they expected me to just let him get mad.

Would I encourage my children, my family or my friends to enter into a long distance relationship? No, but I wouldn't stop them if they felt that was right. My mum had friends and family telling her to take away my phone, cut off the Internet, "ban" me from Jesse - but she trusted my judgement and I couldn't thank her enough. She now sees that this was worth it and she knows that every single tear that she's wiped off my face won't matter in a short while.

If I didn't have a supportive family or an incredibly strong relationship with Jesse, this never would have worked. I feel truly blessed to be with Jesse, even if we're so far apart, because I know this is only temporary situation.

I can't wait until I can come back to this question when he's here and it's a totally different story. Our entire relationship we've been working on being together and now it's only a few more tests, papers and waiting until we have that.

Really, I'm the luckiest girl in the world - I have a fiance who loves me no matter what. Who puts up with my sobbing down the phone line, doesn't laugh at my crazy hair when I wake up in the morning, tells me I should never wear makeup, has the same sense of humour as me, is happy to lay around all day doing nothing, thinks it's cute when I say "I can't be bothered" or other silly "english" things, can take me from crying to crying of laughter in seconds, is proud of every little thing I do and who no matter what - always knows how to put a smile on my face and knows the right thing to say.  

So tell me, who do you know that has one of those laughs? You know, an infectious one where you can't help but smile or laugh with them. 



  1. What a lovely, honest post! I can imagine that it's really hard work but also a challenge and if you can endure a LDR, then everything else is cream :)


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